Free range kids roll on

• By Alison
• 30 May, 2010
• 2 Comments

Last Saturday was a day designated by Lenore Skenazy as “Take your kids to the park and leave them there” day. The goal behind this day was to encourage helicopter parents (those who hover) to give their kids a little free reign and let them learn to be independent. And we’re talking 7 years old and up, not toddlers.

In the lead up to the actual day, I read the comments and reactions to the idea with interest. I expected people to express doubt and disagreement, there was no surprise there. What had me rather flummoxed was the notion that apparently some parents don’t let their kids out of their sight – even in their own homes.

Maybe I should say “allegedly” rather than “apparently” – because I simply don’t believe that it’s true. It’s just impossible to keep your hairy eyeball firmly planted on your child every minute of the day and still function as a human being. Unless that is – you have an army of servants who are hired to perform the things that you obviously can’t achieve while you’re busy supervising your children. Like cook dinner for example. Or take a dump.

From the age of about 4, both of my children could literally be anywhere in the house while I was cooking dinner. I would listen out for thumps and bumps or cries in case I was needed – and also a lengthy period of complete silence would have me calling up the stairs for confirmation of signs of life.

And this freedom includes the backyard, where life threatening things can be found in abundance. Both girls like to climb on the swing set, and I don’t mean the parts made for climbing. I often look out the window to see one or other child perched on the top bar of the frame, legs dangling down while the other swings beneath.

I look forward to my oldest turning 10, because that is the point in time when I think she should walk to school by herself. Right now she’s 8, and when we cross the road I let her take the lead to practise looking and declaring the road clear. Our roads are narrow and lined with parked cars that she’s not tall enough to look over the top of, so it’s more dangerous than the clear wide streets that I grew up on.

I have a feeling that my current 8 year old would be more attentive to the road than the 18 year old who crossed in front of my stopped car the other day, but didn’t think to look for the traffic coming the other way – which was flowing freely. The older gentleman who managed to stop in time looked decidedly shocked and upset at what nearly happened. The girl in question – ear phone still in both ears tried to leap out of the way and ran on her way without a glance back.

So back to “Take your kids to the park and leave them there” day. We didn’t do it. But the reason we didn’t do it was because we were at a scout camp, on an activitiy day organised by our school PTA. We spent the day doing archery and rock climbing, with a BBQ dinner, then a campfire and sing-song with camping overnight.

The campsite covered a large area surrounded by woods, and many different groups were camping in different parts of it. After the BBQ and before the campfire we had a few hours sitting out chatting.

Our kids were no-where to be seen.

They had the ultimate in free range play – they were in the woods playing hide and seek, playing outside friend’s tents, rolling down a handy hill, or creating wooden paths in the glades. Every now and then a passing child would walk near us, and I’d ask if they’d seen my children. The answer would be a variety of “yes, she’s playing with Daniel” or “yes, she and Izzy are in the woods”.

The kids knew to stay with friends and not wander off by themselves, and they also knew to seek out adults, should something happen to one of them. And the worst that did happen was a trip and fall that resulted in a bruised knee from a sharp rock.

There were other people using the campsite, but I wasn’t worried about them. Not because I presumed that they were all “good” people, but because the potential for them to NOT be good people was pretty remote. And again, my children know not to go with strangers.

I was also pleased to see that despite the reactions of many people online, stating that they’d NEVER let their kids out of their site – this wasn’t true for the parents we were camping with. all of our children were wandering and playing together. There wasn’t anyone running around after their kids, feeling obliged to traipse through the woods and follow them. Even smaller children had freedom – with older children as chaperones.

All in all, a very good free range day, and a nice illustration that the majority of people are not crazy helicopter parents.