Chinese for one

I am not terrible at cooking, but I am terrible at remembering to prepare beforehand. So often I find myself with a lump of frozen chicken that I forgot to take out of the freezer that morning, and no way to defrost it quickly (without doing that half cooked thing in the microwave, which makes me want to be a little sick in my mouth).

So sometimes on a Friday I ring up Mr Boxer Shorts and suggest that he might like to bring home some takeaway. That’s what I did a few weeks ago.

Here’s how the conversation went at 6.30pm…
Me: I’ve fed the girls, but I’ve nothing for us. Do you want to bring something home?
Mr Boxer Shorts: Sure, I am about to leave the pub. What do you want?
Me: I don’t mind, just get something I’d like.

An hour later I ring him again…
Me: Heya, where are you?
Mr Boxer Shorts: Jus leaving the pub now
Me: You’re still there?
Mr Boxer Shorts: Iz leaving now, you want I get you somefood?
Me: Yes
Mr Boxer Shorts: What do you want? Indian? Chinese? Miso?
Me: You choose, just get something I like.

An hour and a half or so later he rings me
Mr Boxer Shorts: Do you wan me to getshou some food?
Mr Boxer Shorts: Whatchoowant?
Me: Something, anything. Just bring me some food for goodness sake.

So, 45 minutes later he turns up. I am upstairs in my office. It’s 10pm. I hear him come in, then nothing. He doesn’t call up the stairs and say “Honey I’m home, I’ve brought you some dinner!” (or even “Honeysme, I gofooooood”)

After 10 minutes I go down to see what’s going on. As you can imagine – I am quite pissed off by now! I don’t want to eat at 10pm. It’s a good thing I don’t…

I find him sitting in the lounge eating – Chinese for one.

Categories: the male enigma


  • sandboxgems says:

    Sounds like me too. Planning ahead is not my strong point. Hubby forgot to bring me home some Sushi the other night as he took my daughter out after swim practice. I patiently waited, salivating at the door. They walk in with nothing for me! Argh. Ended up eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner.

  • alison says:

    oh no! And this is so much LESS healthy than the sushi would have been!!
    When you’re hungry you’ll eat anything, which is why you should never go shopping while hungry.

  • Jessica says:

    Ummm..sorry…if my husband did that to me, he wouldn’t live through the night. Well, maybe he would…but he’d be severly disabled.

  • Jen says:

    The pub is a black hole. Time slips by and the husband forgets everything else. When we lived in London, I would make my husband leave his clothes downstairs because they reeked of cigarette smoke. He doesn’t smoke but since everyone else does at those places it permeated everything he wore.
    Our favorite place for take away Chinese was Mao Tai in Fulham. We lived in Fulham and it was just around the corner. Have to say it was the most expensive take away ever. But, that is London.

  • alison says:

    Hi Jessica, he very nearly didn’t live through the night, I was THAT furious!
    I know what you mean Jen, it’s not the first time he’s said he’d be leaving soon, and then just didn’t. And on the subject of smoke, I used to have to shower and wash my hair after coming home from any night out. I don’t smoke, but I’d reek of it. It’s not so bad now that smoking is banned in the buildings, but it makes walking past any pub horrible as you have to walk through the fog of pollution.
    We lived in Wandsworth back in the day, not far away from you in Fulham. We both worked in Putney, and that wasn’t the cheapest place either.